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When I was young;

When I was young, I can remember going to daycare and having people turn on me. I just couldn’t see, why they would hate me. I was raised by a mother who was single see, and she just couldn’t live without grace in herself. She was one of those people who tried so hard to simply “do”. It became one of those things, where I lived as an only child in complete servanthood. I was quiet, I was simple. I couldn’t try or be anything but still. I was a child that was simply chosen by choice.

Daycare, was a place to me, where I couldn’t see why people were mean to me. I remember the first time, as a four year old. I had one good friend, I never could forget. Throughout my younger life, I decided just to be quiet. It didn’t matter what I did, it didn’t matter what I said, it just mattered what I did. So I became to be, just still. The chaos that chosen me, was something that I did not foresee, instead I would strive to be anything but the opposite of peace. With the faith in me, over the years, I began to give all I could give. No matter what I did, or what I said, I quite literally began to just hear heaven.

The first book I chose, at a grocery store, was a Precious Moments Bible, for a friend of mine. The Lord reminded me, of the conversation we had, it was a vision, out in space before I could…

This began to be my identity over the years, just as I saw purely what it was. Every time I opened my mouth, opposition became the voice I heard. It didn’t matter who I was, or how how I tried. I would just simply be the space divide.

In grade school, I would study people. I would watch their minds and become one with it. Dawson’s Creek was where I lived, to find love in which I would try to imply. I remember looking one day, at the mirror, and hearing the Lord say, “chosen one”. I didn’t know what this meant, I simply knew it was deep within.

The Lord never allowed me to look or think twice about stuff, he just simply made me accept everything that he would shove. I remember hearing quite religiously, “that’s not love”. The relationship, I developed with my dad, was special connection in which I never had. We lived freely, in a place of space, where nothing mattered but our grace within. We were best friends that could never identify, we could feel the wind as the motorcycle flew by. My parents were both the black sheep of their families, with wonderful parents. They stayed married for life, and contributed their lives to the Lord on this planet. The industrial ways are what established in their generations. Something that has passed from us into a true governance. Religion is what strangled us… which is primarily why both my parents would flee from thus.

The options I have been given in life, quite primarily have only lead to just one. The catch 22 seriously does exist. Which is why we just learn to trust.

Live to learn learn to to trust. Live to learn, and learn to trust. Live to learn. Learn to trust. Lie to learn, learn to trust. Live to learn, and learn to trust. Live to learn, and learn to trust. Wherever I go, there is always opposition. Whether it be in the ones I Trust, or the spirits that come off of every vice.

The faith I am in… is quite literally what has governed this. People scatter like sand when I come in. Which is why I became governed in it. When I moved to a newer planet… this space that became more one with the ways of the society. The old society in which the west was on won… had no longer been these sense of my identity. I became infatuated with the ways of a lie… the malls, the stars, the pars… and friends that I will never regret. The memories, I will simply cherish. Deep within.

The Lord set me steps, even when I didn’t see it. He showed me a way to be it. When I lost who I was, when I swept up by a word whom I thought was wise, I felt something strange deep within. I lost my ways, in which I was governed in it. And he brought me into another submission. God breathed… and he spoke. He never let it choke.

He was the faith I had, deep inside, and he knew each and every sigh. He spoke quite literally to my head, and deep reflection became wonderful. He showed me the world in which we reside. The war we face, is not what we see, it’s quite literally a fixation of what we are fighting. We know it, we feel it, and we don’t let it win against it.

The strangled voice, became what killed the choice. I will never enter his submission again, because this is what seriously destroyed vision. He ruled me like I was a prostitute, with deep sincerity, but absolute constricted vision. He never got me to a place where I, could rule justly with a righteous eye. The fact that I was stuck on self sacrifice, is because Jesus forsook it. God you are my one true word, which is already obscuring all the observed and obscure. I am living in a Paul mentality, he brought me through every walk in life, he brought me through even truth. This walk I found is complete withdrawal from anything that is of you. All my life belongs to you. To all that this world needs. He showed me things that only we need. It’s an amazing stream flowing in my head.

The ways we seek, can be found in complete servitude. This is why we find his righteousness this evening, belonging to complete forgiveness. Only you can build my life on sinking sand, in my hope forever.

N. P.

C. O.

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